Gosh. My last post on Raines-isms was back in May. He’s changed so much in the last five months that some of these no longer sound like him. There are very few baby-ish pronunciations anymore. Sob! Happily, there’s really no shortage of funny from that kid.
After taking a picture of him and his brother: You gonna Facebook that, Mom?
His latest bedtime stall tactic (said to Mike): But I want to give you and Mom a hug AT THE SAME TIME.
When I’m peppering him with (apparently) too many questions: MOO! You’re breaking my questions!
Counting (back in June): nine, ten, firteen, fifteen, secondteen…
After watching Star Wars: “Mom, I fink Luke Skywalker’s hand is a powerful magnet. It’s how he gets his light saber. UHHHHHH” (trying)
Slumped over his bike, halfway up the hill: Mom, I lost my fast.
On eyeing my piece of chocolate: Mom, since you only have one piece of chocolate…I’ll give you a hundred dollars so I can eat it.
On a bowl of cereal that Mike poured for him: Mom, I think I need some help from you. One man can’t eat this cereal. It’s more than one man can eat.
On picking through his Hot Wheels cars, deciding which one to use: Mom, this car is so dammit because it always crashes.
After watching Imagine, the John Lennon tribute in London Olympic’s closing ceremonies: Not the people, Mom, but Planet Earth? Was Planet Earth sad after John Lennon died?
On discussing what we’ll do on Friday, where I propose a trip to the zoo: I’m jus’ not a zoo guy, Mum.
After getting hurt: Mom, I feel like I need a new leg.
On his new-found friend, his penis: THIS BIG PEEPEE IS GONNA EXPLODE THE WHOLE TOWN!!!
And sometimes he’s just like Mike: A few weeks ago, Pax was climbing up onto his chair, and somehow completely fell off. The poor thing hit his head so hard. I scooped him up, and was “rocking it out” in the rocker while he sobbed. R rushed over. “Pax?” says Raines. “Here. I brought you two boat books, two babies and – WAIT!” He rushes to the freezer. “Here’s the boo-boo frog, Pax!” (The boo-boo frog is an icepack that Raines is all-too familiar with.) I put the icepack to Pax’s forehead, but it’s too cold and makes him cry harder. “Oh, buddy” I say. “We need something to put over it…like a tshirt, maybe.” Without hesitation, Raines whips off his shirt. “Here you go, Mum! Right now, it’s better if I’m cold, not Pax.” I stare at him in disbelief. “Wow, Raines…” I finally say. “That was really nice of you.” Raines is nonchalant. “It was my pleasure Mom.”
Also? When I ask him to take out the trash: “Of course, Mom! I’d love to.” That’s all Mike. That right there.
Yet sometimes….he’s so much like me: Tonight, we walked to Carlinos for bread, just Raines and I. He spotted a plane and wanted to know where it was going so late at night. I told him that some places are so far away, you have to fly all night long…like London, where the Olympics were, or Paris or Scotland or- then Raines interrupted me: “Do they speak Spanish Mom?” I explained that they do speak Spanish in Spain, and that they speak French in Paris and- and then he interrupts again: “Mom…you know all the worlds out there you talk about?” I nod. He’s thoughtful for a second. “I wanna see each one.” And that little heartfelt wish was so familiar, that pull to unfamiliar places so strong that my heart stopped for a moment. I fell to my knees, scooping Raines up in a huge hug. We stared at each other, small smiles on our faces. Kindred spirits to the core. “Baby….someday, we’ll go to those places together” I told him. He smiled at me. I smiled back. And then hand in hand, we went home for dinner.