We’ve been having a few rough nights, since both boys (and I) are all sick. Mike has been sleeping with Raines, in his room, just to keep the insanity levels down. So it’s been me and lil’ P all night. Even so….rough nights. We can hear Raines coughing, I’m coughing and P is just starting to cough. So he’s cranky all night and trying to nurse all night and I’m just trying to SLEEP and simultaneously make him forget about “the girls” as he’s constantly rooting around for them. Sigh.
Last night…probably about 4AM, I heard Pax say softly, “Mahm.” That’s what he calls me. It’s this tiny, almost nasally little pronunciation of mom. My eyes snap open – instantly awake. “Mahm” he says again. I realize that his fat little hand is on my cheek. He’s staring at me, his eyes luminous in the dark. He sighs. “Mahm. Mahm. Mahm.” he says again, almost like a lullaby. And I realize, in that instant, that he’s been lying there awake, literally watching me sleep. Oh, how I love being loved like this. It’s intoxicating.