Dishrag Saboteur

Such an innocent-looking face....

So…..there is really only one brand of dishrag that I like.  It probably comes as no surprise to most of you, since I have been accused of being particular on more than one occasion.

These dishrags are purchased, every year, by my mother at one of Marquette’s annual Christmas bazaars.  I LOVE them.  And over the years, we’ve established quite a stock.  Until now.

I’m not sure when it happened, but very recently Mike and I realized that we are down to roughly 6 dishrags.  Which is annoying, because I go through 1-2 a day.  And a far cry from the 15-20 dishrags I thought we had.  So I started looking – did Mike absentmindedly stick them somewhere?  I checked the cleaning supplies, I checked all laundry hampers, I checked his sock drawer, under the couch, and (his most often-used spot for random objects while “thinking”)…the freezer.  Nope.  Nothing.

Then I started accusing.  “Mike?  Did you throw them out?”  Nope.  He stood firm, even though I sneakily re-phrased the question several times (“did you throw out any fabric-like substances lately?  Did you spot something that looked like a dishrag in the trash, and wonder how it got there? Did you clean up a big spill recently and think the dishrags should just be thrown out?”).  Hmmm…a good re-phrase or two usually works.  I thought about our cleaning lady.  Would she have used them?  Maybe…in a pinch.  But used and then taken them?  Not likely.  I mean…yeah, I LOVE them, but they are still dishrags.  I love them on a level appropriate for dishrag love.  Right?

Add to my confusion the fact that our cloth napkin population also seems to be dwindling before my eyes.  So.  Weird.

Anyway.  This was months ago.  Fairly recently, we were out walking, and ran into our downstairs neighbor whom we all adore, Phil.  Phil sees us and smirks.  “By the way…” he says.  “Are you guys missing a few dishrags?”  I stare at him, open-mouthed.  Did HE use them?  I know he has a key to our place…but why would he need dishrags?

Oh, thank goodness!” I said.  “I thought I was going crazy with dishrags randomly disappearing!  What was your dishrag emergency?

Oooooh….not my dishrag emergency,” he laughed.  “But I DO know what happened to them.”  And he points, straight up into the big tree that hangs over our balcony.

And there, stuck high in it’s branches, is one of our dishrags.

Yeah…” says Phil.  “I’ve been picking those things up for months. So has Linda.  And Dee, I think too.  Pretty much everyone.

Everyone except for us.  Oops.  And here I thought Raines was doing SO well with the whole “don’t throw things off the balcony rule”.  How does he already know, at 2.5 years, to be sneaky?  I was seriously blown away.  In order to pull off something of this magnitude, the little sh&t has to remove dirty dishrags and cloth napkins from the hamper (the only place he can reach)….sneak out onto the porch without our knowledge, and CHUCK them over the balcony into the tree before getting caught.  And….he must have done this (based on our current supply)…roughly 30+ times?

Not.  Possible.

Is it?  It must be.




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1 Response to Dishrag Saboteur

  1. Emily says:

    AH! I have been wondering about this…I figured they were just thrown away! I think I go rummaging about once a week for the rags, and can never find them 🙂 SO funny!!

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