It turns out that Brad and Jen broke up. Some time ago, my friends tell me. I recently learned this little tidbit of gossip because of a headline on a magazine while I was getting my hair done: “Angelina Pregnant With Brad’s Twins”. Who knew? I was even more surprised to find out that this wasn’t their first baby. What about Jen, Bradly? WHAT ABOUT JEN?
I am behind the times. Admittedly. But I’ve been, you know…busy. And, when it comes right down to it…I just don’t care. I don’t get starstruck, I don’t read People magazine, I don’t care who was at which party, I just. don’t. care. However…I do have one little teensy tiny star crush.
You know who you are Dr. Harvey Karp!
For those of you who don’t know…Dr. Harvey Karp is the genius behind the “Happiest Baby on the Block” book. He is directly responsible for our hair-dryer breakthrough, restoring our sanity, and his book is filled with the kindest! smartest! most wonderfulest! ideas. But I am gushing.
Babytime Expo came to Denver a few weeks ago. The keynote speaker at the convention was….yup: Dr. Harvey Karp! I was BEYOND excited. He was speaking on both Saturday AND Sunday, but Mike said I could only choose one day to attend. Sunday he was addressing his newer book, “Happiest Toddler on the Block”…and since I have read “Happiest Baby” several times (as well as watched the DVD and discussed his techniques ad nauseam with the girls from breastfeeding support group)…I decided to go on Sunday. So we all went – Mike, Raines and I.
The original plan was to be there at least an hour before he spoke to get good seats. Also, I was a bit worried that it would fill up and we wouldn’t be able to hear him speak at all! You see, once you bought your ticket to the expo, the price included hearing Dr. Karp speak. So Sunday morning I’m rushing about trying to get us all ready…but you know us. We can’t get anywhere on time if our lives depended on it. So….for his 10AM speech, we pulled off the highway at 9:23 AM. I was furious. I’m snapping at Mike as we pull into the parking lot, twisting around frantically trying to find which building the Babytime Expo was actually taking place. You would think they’d have bigger signs or something! Mike, who virtually never excites, continues his parking lot speed of 3 miles an hour until he reaches the front door to the Babytime Expo where I explode from the car. (He kills me sometimes, he really does.) I bust through the doors like a madwoman, queue for tickets, and by the time I have the tickets in hand Mike has joined me with Raines. We go in — I’m frantically asking “Where is Dr. Karp speaking? Where is Dr. Karp speaking?” I mean seriously people – he’s on in like 27 minutes!!! They point to a stage in the back. Raines is safe with Mike who is, of course, moseying, so I go running to the stage area to get seats. I dodge a few vendors, jump over some little kid toddling around and….there’s the stage. It is — COMPLETELY — empty. There’s about 60 chairs set up in front of the stage, with not another soul in sight. I hear Mike cracking up behind me. Undeterred, I walk to the front of the stage and sit down in the first row – right below the podium! We sit there for a bit, checking the time. We are only 15 minutes to Karp-time and the auditorium is still empty. Mike wants to know if I’m going to throw my panties on stage. Smartass. But I did bring a lighter. Mike tries to persuade me to walk around the expo with him until Dr. Karp comes out. I almost leave….but see a few people walk into the auditorium. Fearing for our seats, I stay. Mike returns a few minutes later, looking smug. “The doctor is in” he says. “Right behind you.” And there he was: Dr. Harvey Karp.
I never knew this about myself, but it turns out that when I’m starstruck, I blush and my voice gets all high and breath-y. I did get my questions out (I wanted to know his philosophy on crying-it-out) and he did give me some really good tips (not necessary – just turn up the white noise to keep him sleeping but it is OK to pick him up)….but I’m afraid I may have come across as someone who is not *quite* stable. Perhaps he just chalked it up to sleep depravation. But later, during his amazing “Happiest Toddler” speech, my laughing WAY to hard at all of his jokes from the front row may have given away how starstruck I was. Or perhaps it was the screaming “I LOVE YOU DR HARVEY KARP” when he walked onstage. Or maybe the panties. Yeah, the panties probably
gave me away.