People tried to prepare me.  They’d go on and on about their snot-nosed
kids.  They kiss their baby’s drooling face and ask if I want to hold
him/her. “Ugh,”  I’d think.  “Gross.”  They’d bring it EVERYWHERE. 
“OMG – time for a sitter” I’d think.  How things have changed. The
scary thing about having kids is that the cliche things to say about
having kids are all true!  I stopped into work today with Raines – to
see the gang, say Hi, show off the little Creature.  It was funny,
despite the evidence that I was carrying around, many people had a hard
time seeing me as a Mum.  Most were just stunned.  One of my coworkers
kept looking at me and shaking his head, as if to say, “I just can’t
believe it.”  Believe it buddy.  It’s true.  So on the drive home, I
was trying to think of how to explain the joy of having a child –
without using the cliche sayings that I heard so often before.  I think
what it comes down to is this:  You are in love.  You are SO in love. 
It’s like a new love affair — the kind of borderline obsessive love
affair that makes you want to spend all of your time with that person,
but has none of the insecure “do they love me back” crap.  I love the
way Raines looks at me – with his eyes all shiny with happiness – Mike
and I are truly his whole world.  I love the way his whole body relaxes
when I pick him up.  I love when he’s crying and looks directly into my
eyes because he knows I can fix it.  I love glancing in the rear-view
mirror and see him taking in the view from his car seat.  I love the
quiet time when we’re lying down together and he just kicks and coos
happily.  I love the fact that he sleeps better snuggled next to me.  I
love his happy face, his grumpy face, his sleepy face and even his
adorable little crying face.  Having children changes everything.  My
heart breaks daily, thinking of all of the children in this world that
need love.  I have become an emotional wreck.  And one big walking
cliche.  So yes – you should try having children sometime, it is
different when they are your own, no I am not ready for a baby sitter,
and I do – daily! – kiss a drool covered cheek.  Want to hold him?